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Saturday, October 27, 2012

How could I not trust You?

How could I not trust You? These were the words I whispered to God as I wept over my Bible study this morning. I just finished the 10th lesson of my Beth Moore study on the book of James. Today's lesson asked me to break my life up into quarters. At 26 years old those quarter are broken into 6 and a half year intervals. We had to list the "good things" and perfect gifts" God has so graciously given us.

James 1:17 Every good thing is given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

Let me just say that my hand hurt after this exercise. I couldn't stop writing! Here are just a few I wrote down:

Age 0 to 6.5-- Two amazing parents and two kind big brothers, two loving and involved grandparents.

Age 6.5 to 13-- A christian upbringing. Received Christ as my Saviour at age 8 and was baptized, a loving church family, active in sports.

Age 13-19.5-- Re-dedicated my life to Christ at Camp Peniel at age 13. Learned to love reading the Bible. Grew in my faith as a counselor at Camp Peniel. Graduated High School and went to University. Had an amazing church family in Halifax. Met Devin!

Age 19.5-26--(a.k.a. Best years of my life!)
-Devin and I went from dating to engagement to marriage.
-Graduated from my undergrad and went on to OttawaU to become a teacher.
- Gained a second family (the Roddicks), as well as 3 sister-in-laws, 3 nephews and 1 neice.
- Moved to Gravelbourg (blessing in disguise) where we soon met friends as close (and as important) as family.
- Our dog, Rudy.
- Got a teaching contract, had a wonderful little Kindergarten class.
- My relationship with Christ has matured, deepened and developed beyond what I could ever imagine.
- The blessing (in disguise) of infertility, that has opened my eyes to God's will, timing and perfect plan.
- Opportunities to travel.
- God broke so many chains that held me in sin.

Oh, I could just go on for days. What a wonderful God I serve. In my weakness I look at only what I do not have...let me just say, what I do not have is a tiny little list compared to what I do have.

There are two things I deeply desire that I do not currently have: children and a home near our families out East. However, I'm slowly coming to realize with God's help, that I am lacking in nothing. He has been SO faithful over the last 26 years in giving me good and perfect gifts, why should I not trust Him to give me even more gifts according to His will? They may come in different forms than I might originally want or expect, but they are exactly what I need. Once again I ask:

How could I not trust You?!

Father of lights, giver of ALL that is good and perfect, I love You and I trust You!

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