Random Thoughts at 12:46am

It's late and my hubby is working until 3 am. I'm sitting here with my rawhide-knawing dog and thinking of all sorts of neat things. Writing, reading, traveling, parenting, blogging, cleaning, exercising...you name it.

My parents informed me tonight that they will be flying me home to see them in July. How awesome! I thought I wouldn't see my beloved province and my wonderful family until next Christmas, but I am thrilled to say that I will be there in 6 months! I haven't visited NS for the past 2 summers, so I am looking forward to beaches and lighthouses, sand and sun, friends and family.

Devin turned 26 on Tuesday. 26! He still has the sweet face of a 19 year old, does that make me creepy to be married to such a young looking guy?? ;) Either way, he's gorgeous--this I know for sure. I met him when he was 20. In 20 years I'm going to be in shock that I'm married to a 46 year old..I can't even believe sometimes I'm old enough to be married to a 26 year old. He's such a blessing, I'm so glad to be there to celebrate all of his many years to come.

2011

It's a new year..2011. I'm not really the type to see it as a "fresh beginning" or a "new start" and I don't usually make any type of serious resolution, but not because I'm pessimistic, but moreso because I just think that it is better to work on improving yourself and your life everyday, not just a promise you make yourself on December 31st. I have made a lot of resolutions in my life, and there are few I've kept. I've been resolved to be a runner, and I ran for a couple of months and then quit when I went on vacation to Nova Scotia. I have resolved to lose weight and be in tip top shape, and sometimes I have lost a fair bit and got into good shape..but 6 months later the chocolate and potlucks took their toll on me.

I have made some "resolutions" in my life that I have kept. While I don't remember the pinnacle moment I decided these things; they were still intentional. I am resolved to make decisions in my life based on God's will, not my own. While I obviously have not done this in every situation in my life, it's become more intentional, and much easier over the past few years. I was also resolved to remiain a virgin until marriage--check. :)  I also am resolved to be a loyal wife who upholds her marriage relationship above all others (aside from my relationship with God). I want to be gentle, kind, compassionate and submissive to Devin.  I am also resolved to draw nearer to God, learn more about Him, and use opportunities He gives me to love others and share His love with them.

 There are more, but these are some big ones that I am committed to, not just on December 31st, but for the rest of my life.

Happy 2011!

Jehovah Jireh

I love this phrase. It means "the Lord provides". What an inexplicable hope that gives me. Sometimes this phrase speaks to the spiritual aspect of my life, when I need a fresh outlook or grace to forgive someone. Sometimes the physical, when I am weary or sick. Sometimes the emotional, when I'm drained or hurting. Sometimes the material, when we just don't have enough money to make ends meet.  I love God so much. What a faithful Father He is to me and to this world.  All we have to do is ask and trust.  The Lord has provided for me on many occasions, even those situations where I did not recognize that it was His hand moving in my life, He was there.



I Believe

I just heard this song (below) on my Ipod as I was walking this morning, and it really spoke to me.  I don't necessarily feel the same despair as the lyrics portray, but there have definitely been times in my life where I have, and I probably will again.  I love the words in the chorus. I believe in the sun even when it's not shining...what an awesome analogy!  Just like my relationship with God. Sometimes it feels bright and promising and I can see His face shining on me, but when life gets in the way and there's a "cloud cover" that seems to get in the way of connecting with God, I can still be sure that He's real and He's there, even if I can't "see" Him.  Also, the verse about God being silent. I guess I compare that to our current situation where we are trying to get pregnant with our first little blessing, but have been unsuccessful for the past 2 months.  Two months is not a terribly long time, but it's easy to get frustrated and ask God "Why not?", "Why isn't it time yet?".  I believe He has not just good, but GREAT things in store for me and my husband, so we'll just keep waiting on Him.

I believe in love - Barlow Girl

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything

So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my stories ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days


So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe


No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe.
I believe

Running

I'm currently in week 3 of a 9 week running program (couch to 5k).  Last night was my first run of the week, and the first time I did not reach my goal.  I went to the treadmill with a headache and very fatigued...and it showed.  I was supposed to do a 90 sec. run/90 sec. walk, 3 min. run/3 min walk for 20 minutes. I couldn't run longer than 90 seconds at a time...I don't think I'm capable of 3 minutes yet :(  It feels pretty pathetic, 3 straight minutes of running is not that much, but feels impossible. How frustrating.

Encouragement from the Word

I think it's appropriate to quote the song "Jesus Loves Me" today. "Jesus Loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so..."

Last night I was laying in bed, missing my husband like crazy (because he's on a week-long course and I hate when we're apart) and I prayed desperately that the Lord would show me scripture that would encourage me and help me "snap out of it".  Not 30 seconds later I happened upon Philippians 4...a chapter I'm quite familiar with, but of course, my God loving me as He does, I read this chapter with tear-filled eyes knowing that it was His gift to me and an answer to my prayer.  The title of it is literally "Words of Encouragement"...and I specifically asked Him in my prayer to show me something to encourage me.

Philippians 4: 4-8

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. 6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Our first anniversary...BANFF

Hot Springs

BEAUTIFUL Moraine lake. Loved it.

Gondola ride up sulphur mountain

Hiking @ Johnston Canyon, day 1.   

Beautiful lower waterfalls at Johnston Canyon

Hubby and I at Lake Louise :)

My handsome husband, Devin.

Hot pool on the roof of our hotel, The Inns of Banff