In the waiting

Today is another day, my body is proclaiming for the 18th month that I am not pregnant. I take it better than I did about 6 months ago, but I'm still fighting anger, sadness, confusion, frustration and bitterness. Why can't I look past this momentary struggle and remember God's plan is in the works, He has not forgotten about me? It's so hard sometimes to wear the "big picture" goggles, but I have to try.
A friend, and one of the dozens of women who have surrounded and uplifted me during this wait, sent me a link to the song below. Here are the lyrics that so perfectly describe my life right now.

 

In the Waiting- Greg Long

 

Pain
The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it's gone away
Pray
I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it's never fast enough for me
It seems
the hardest part is waiting on You
When what I really want
Is just to see Your hand move
I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting
Time
Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see
Free
Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can't get beyond where I have been, but then

Again
The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own