Over the past couple of years, there were times when I was so low and feeling so hopeless about our infertility, it was all kind of a blur. I could wake up one day and just be so miserable, I didn't know how to shake it. During those years I most definitely leaned on God, and there were times when He'd help me snap out of it and hold onto hope. But God also sent us many angels who helped us carry the burden, and made life so much better for us.
The first year we waited for a baby, it was hard, but not hopeless, and we kept it to ourselves as we didn't see it as a big problem yet. But as 12 months approached I was starting to really worry, and holding it in, and trying to deal with it alone, just was not working for me. As the doctors crawled through tests and appointments, I just about burst at the seams and finally broke down (after an embarrassing exit from church one morning) to my dear friend, Jenn. I bawled in the church parking lot while telling her we'd been waiting a year, and didn't know why. After that I started more openly telling people we were struggling. Yes, it's a personal issue, but I believe in the power of prayer and support of dear friends, and I haven't regretted sharing it.
Jenn, and countless other women and men came alongside of us and lifted us up in prayer, hugs, letters, e mails, kind words, advice, and the list goes on. It was shocking to me the number of couples I know who have struggled with infertility in some way or another. There were women who had "been there, done that" who were so encouraging to me. When I thought our friends were probably tired of hearing about it, another person would remind us how much they cared and that they were still praying. That kind of compassion just overflows your heart with warmth and love.
I don't know how to possibly thank the people who invested 2 years into our lives, who carried our burden with us, and rejoiced with delight and tears when we announced we were pregnant. These friends have treated us like family. I had never felt God's love poured out through His people in such a real and tangible way.
I am so thankful.
