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Monday, November 19, 2012

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I begin my first round of Clomid, which is an ovulation-inducing agent. It has been over 2 years since we started trying to get pregnant, and I have learned some priceless lessons during that time. During the dark times I was not grateful for the pain of waiting for a child, but now? Now, I couldn't be more blessed. To know that my sweet Lord hasn't left me, but has used these 2 years to draw me closer to Him than I could ever imagine. Thank You, Lord for making me wait for my heart's greatest desire, so that I could realize that You are my heart's greatest desire; everything else follows after.

From the vast amount of women I've spoken to about Clomid, it is a highly successful drug for achieving pregnancy. I am grateful for this medicine that may help us, but I'm not thanking the medicine if I get pregnant. I will be fully aware that God, alone gave us the blessing of a child.

Truthfully, I'm nervous about taking Clomid. I'm afraid of putting my hope in this drug over putting my hope in God for our children. So my prayer is that I will remain thankful for the help of medicine and science, but always, always, always put my hope fully in God in every situation.

Job 1:21
He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave.
The Lord gave me what I hadand the Lord has taken it away.
Praise the name of the Lord!”

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Choose to see

Awestruck.

That is how I feel when I take time to look around me. Today would have been just a tiresome, regular Tuesday had I not taken time to look around. To look for the good and perfect gifts from our Father. I don't credit myself in remembering to look around, it is a working of His Holy Spirit in me that caused me to really see.

This is what I saw:
  • My husband putting together a lunch for me as I hurriedly got ready for school this morning. And I later saw the sweet note he wrote me and tucked in my lunch bag.
  • A boy in grade 1 hugging his friend to comfort him while he cried over a mistake he made, saying 'It's okay!'
  • Two amazingly beautiful bucks running side by side across the highway and through a field. They were so graceful and masculine all at once - pure beauty of creation.
  • A young man at the grocery store, offering to tow an elderly woman whose car was stuck in the snow.
  • The sun setting on the sparkly snow in my back yard.
  • The Word of God jumping off the pages to speak a new message to my heart.
  • The dancing green of the Northern Lights across the sky speckled with bright stars.
  • The sharing of peppermint tea, warm brownies and conversation (in pajamas, of course) with dear friends.
When I look back on my day I can't believe the gifts I was given today! And these were only the obvious ones. There is nothing typical or mundane about today or any day when you look around and choose to see the gifts.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Bread




I just realized yesterday that I get an odd pleasure from throwing out a used bread bag and opening a new one. I finally put my finger on why I like this so much, and then it hit me; Devin and I take a long time to eat a loaf of bread, and when we fly through a bunch of loaves, it usually means we have guests in our home. For a couple who lives thousands of kms from family, having guests in our home is extra meaningful and fulfilling. Sometimes the quick consumption of bread also means our family is here, either way, someone we care about is in our home, sharing toast or grilled cheese sandwiches with us...and it makes our home a home.

This weekend we had 3 wonderful girls from our youth group stay overnight in our home, and sure enough, many grilled cheese sandwiches were had. Then the following 2 nights, Michelle and Katja stayed because the weather wasn't great and they live 30 minutes away--and more bread was consumed, and more feelings of home surrounded me. I found so much joy in making meals for the girls and washing extra dishes and cup. I loved having the girly chats, the hair-doing and makeup-making and nail painting. I loved the deep conversations about life, love and faith.

It breaks my heart that Michelle and Katja will be leaving Canada to move back to Paraguay. But as I say goodbye this week to these 2 beautiful people I've come to know and love so much, I will always cherish those 3 blizzardy days we spent together making memories and breaking bread.






Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sheltered




I live a pretty sheltered life. The word sheltered, according to Websters, means "something that covers or affords protection". If this is true, then why is the term thrown around as an insult toward those who aren't deemed socially acceptable or normal enough? Or if you are "too innocent" you might also be labeled as sheltered. I have chosen the sheltered life with intent and purpose, not out of fear, ignorance or weakness. According to the dictionary, a shelter covers or protects-- so what am I protecting myself from? And what is sheltering me?

My shelter is God and He is protecting me from evil, plain and simple. In my short 26 years I've allowed too much evil into my heart, mind, eyes, ears. I let things of this world mould me and manipulate me.

1 John 2:15-17
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.

 Now that I know God, I mean really know Him and have a relationship with Him, I find my shelter in Him,

Psalm 91:4
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Psalm 46:1
God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Psalm 91:1
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I need not fear the world or the evil in it because God is working on my behalf when I find refuge in Him, and He protects me from it all. This "sheltered life" does not come without trials, bumps, bruises and heartache. It doesn't mean I won't get mt hands dirty and be there for people and love with my hands, heart and money. What it does mean is that God will continue to soften my heart amidst the things of the world that would normally harden it, and He'll keep me filled with joy, so the world can't steal it away, and He'll help me (through His Spirit) to do good, instead of evil.

 
This sheltered life is the only one I ever want to live, and the life I pray that many, many others will choose.

November Joy Dare




Studies have shown that your happiness increases by about 25% when you give thanks. Ann Voskamp (author of One Thousand Gifts) has created a Joy Dare for the month of November that I intend to follow. I loosely started following it on November 1st via Facebook, but will transfer that onto my blog and edit this entry daily to write down my gifts for that day.

Here goes!

November
1st: 3 gifts eaten - A grilled cheese sandwich, lemon meringue yogurt, banana

2nd: 3 gifts worn - warm sweatpants, glasses to see, dog fur from my loveable puggle

3rd: 3 gifts that start with N- Niece (Tori), Nephews (Felix, Thomas and Jaxon), and New morning after a hard night.

4th: A gift Gathered, Given, Good - (Gathered)Groceries from the store, (Given)hugs and kisses from my husband, (Good) Chocolate Chai tea.

5th: 3 gifts acorn-small - My engagement ring and wedding band, my cross pendant, my digital camera card that stores memories.

6th: 3 gifts Government - The right to vote, freedom to worship God, freedom to speak for what I believe.

7th: 3 gifts from your window - Big back yard to play in, our reliable car, neighbours we enjoy life with.

8th: A gift sweet, salty, sipped - The chocolate chip-banana muffins I made this morning, the ocean, and cold milk.

9th: 3 Gifts Harvest - Amazing dusty sunsets, changing colours, cooler temperatures.

10th: 3 Gifts in Bible Reading - Hope through trust in God, Hope for motherhood, guidance in life:
Romans 15:13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Psalms 113:9 He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD!
Psalm 32:8 The LORD says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.


11th: 3 Gifts of Remembrance - (1) Remembering the men and women who gave (and continue to give) their lives for our country and freedom, (2)Remembering my Saviour, Jesus, who gave His life on the cross for my sins so I can have an eternal relationship with God, and (3) Remembering the great times shared with our friends (the Treschers), who are moving to Paraguay this month.

12th: 3 Gifts at Noon - A little stray dog finding warmth from the cold, cheesey casserole shared with my husband, and the powdery snow sparkling in the sun.

13th: 3 Gifts Behind a Door - My neighbours, my cozy bed and my husband's workplace.

14th: 3 Gifts Silent - A night time walk under the stars, quiet time in the Word of God, restful sleep.

15th: 3 Gifts Golden - My wedding band that represents a lifetime of love, the sun shining gold outside, the trim on the pages of my Bible.

16th: 3 Gifts Hard Eucharisteo - Waiting for a baby and the amazing gifts I've received during this time, Saying goodbye to dear friends as they follow God's plan for their life, living so far from family but having friends as close as family.

17th: 3 Gifts of Laughter - Watching my husband dance in his uniform, random and ridiculous things Rudy does, and shared laughter over supper with friends.

18th: 3 Gifts Made, Shared, Passed on - My knit slippers from a friend, a book I wanted to read shared with me from a friend, the testimony of my faith journey that I can pass on to my youth group.

19th: 3 Gifts Autumn - The first snowfall, vibrant colours of leaves, and warm, cozy sweaters.

20th: 3 Gifts Tradition - Putting up the Christmas tree in late November, Going to church every Sunday morning, breakfast at the Cafe at 10 am with my husband and his co-workers.

21st: 3 Gifts Family - My supportive, amazing husband. My lovely mom and dad who have given me so much, and my mother and father-in-law whom I adore.

22nd: A Gift Grateful - I am grateful for the 3 full days ahead with my husband off of work.

23rd: 3 Gifts only in Christ - The hope of an eternity with God and loved ones, the peace that passes all understanding, especially in trialsome times, and a day-to-day joy that I can find nowhere but in my relationship with Him.

24th: 3 Gifts Humble - 1)The sweet baby Jesus in my Nativity scene 2) the act of giving to homeless shelters or children in the third world, and the longing to give more 3) A handmade card or picture from a student or child I love.

25th: 3 Gifts Ugly-Beautiful - 1) my puggle's massive underbite that we (and other people) make fun of, but it also makes me so happy and causes a lot of laughter because it's ridiculous, My hug, puffy winter coat that adds about 50 pounds but keeps me cozier than any other coat I've owned, and the horrendous LED lights I'm forced to put on my Christmas tree, that actually ended up creating a nice, soft glow after all.

26th: 3 Gifts Preparing - Preparing for Christmas by decorating and baking, preparing a lasagna for Devin and I for lunch, and preparing my faith story (testimony) for the teen Sunday School class at my church.

27th: A Gift Handmade, Held, Happy - My Christmas dish towel made by Devin's Grand-mere, my dear friend's beautiful baby I held last night, and the happiness that comes from singing Christmas carols with my husband this morning.

28th: 3 Gifts in Community - Visiting with the ladies at the Post Office who love on my dog and me, familiar faces on every walk, in every store, and at church, and the opportunity to sing in 2 community Christmas concerts this December.

29th: 3 Gifts Red - My car that is safe and reliable. The colour on the new Nativity quilt I received in the mail today. The colour of my husband's RCMP serge.

30th: 3 Gifts Astonishing! - God's unconditional love for me and mankind, and how He showed it by sending Jesus to be sacrificed. The way God has changed my heart from discontent and unrest, to peacefulness and thankfulness. Hearing the testimony of a young Hollywood actor whose life has been turned upside down by God.

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